Happy Sunday readers (all three of you.) Sundays are meant for family… so I was taught growing up. You want to know how my Sunday is going? Right now, I am rocking my teething child in his swing while watching Mickey Mouse (I HATE Mickey Mouse with a passion by the way,) while also baking brownies that I’m pretty sure I put too much of something in for my other half who is out getting his truck stuck with his buddies as I sit here doing all of this (which is why he is my other half, not better half… he doesn’t deserve better half right now.) Every bit of this house has been cleaned, my laundry is done, bedding and all, and I somehow made it to Target, bought groceries and got my Starbucks before I got too cranky! Happy Sunday to me. While mixing those runny brownies together, I realized something. I am a real mom/ housewife now. You know what else I realized? I should’ve traded that Starbucks for a beer instead because I deserve it. I actually deserve 5 at this point. Don’t get me wrong, Pinot Grigio has my heart… but I need something a little more un-ladylike because here I am being a freaking lady and I can’t stand it. I have held back every cuss word today, I haven’t even went off on other half for not letting me know when he’s going to be home. You can’t get much more lady-ish. I know, I know. I’m a mom. No fun for me. You know what though? I can’t be this little shy, striving for perfection housewife for the rest of my life. I know that its in now. I see the posts about preparing clean eating for your family every night of the week and having your hair, nails and makeup done every day while wearing a cute frilly apron, baking and sipping half a glass of wine but I CAN’T DO IT. I can drink my fair share of Starbs just like all of you and shop at Target and love the color of pink but thats as far as it goes. I’m not going to be one of these modern moms. Let’s face it, I have a very small window at night for taking a shower before I pass out wherever I am standing. This momma needs to be a little wild without all that judgement on the cookie cutter mommas faces. Let’s all get together and agree that the guidelines to being “Worlds best mom” now are a little ridiculous. Today, I decided that becoming a mom isn’t going to take away who I am. I can be a little crazy if I want. I can be a little wild. I can have a few beers instead of always being the responsible one. I can be talkative, cuss a little and even order take out tonight because I am too lazy to cook the meal I had planned. If everyone would just decide this, mommin might be a little more easier!
Ever since I’ve had my little one, my anxiety is ridiculous and I think the worst part is my social anxiety. I fought going back to work, not just because I didn’t want to leave my son but also because I had to socialize. I’ve lost all want to make friends and to be honest, I’d rather be at home with my son than go socialize with the two friends I have. My other half and I got into, I wouldn’t say an argument, more like a debate, the other night because he wants to find a baby sitter and us go camping with HIS friends and their girlfriends. I like camping, okay. I’m not a typical girl. Give me a tent, a bonfire and a beer and I’m good to go for a few nights. Obviously, that isn’t why I made up every excuse in the book to not go. I finally came out and told him, I don’t want to go camping with his friends. He and his friends always walk off and leave me with the girls and the girls always have their own conversation and leave me out. I have no connection with these girls. I’m not in college at the moment because I put it off for a while to take care of my newborn. I’m not a sorority girl and I don’t go down town every weekend or at all for that matter. That is what these girls talk about as I sit there and tend to my child like a 40 year old woman. Actually, I am a 40 year old woman in a 21 year old body. I work and I go home and take care of the baby. That is my life. It’s not filled with nursing clinics, Lilly Pulitzer patterns and formals. It’s full of gross diapers, throw up and going to bed at 8 because I AM EXHAUSTED. So better half says I have to give them a second chance. This go around, we might find some things in common. I don’t know if it’s just me but I’m not a second chance kind of person. If we don’t connect the first go around, I go ahead and write you off. I’m not into putting myself in awkward situations. Is it just me? Am I right on fighting this? We have mutual couple friends… and I put up with some of the girlfriends and wives just so he can hang out with his buddies. I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. Rant over!