Grace Over Perfection: when your pregnancy isn’t perfection

Grace over perfection… meaning let go of perfect and accept God’s grace. When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn’t wait to be one of those cute moms who was all baby and wearing fashionable clothes and taking insta-worthy pictures. I didn’t stop and think about the things that could happen. I started gaining 15 lbs. a week. My feet couldn’t fit into any shoes and the shoes I did wear cut into me. My maternity jeans were cutting into my legs, I was swelling so bad. I went and got a second opinion from a doctor because my doctor wasn’t too concerned and was told I had mild preeclampsia.  I went back a few days later and had severe preeclampsia. I was told I wasn’t leaving the hospital until I had the baby. My blood pressure were life threatening and they decided the due date that was a little less than two months away just wasn’t going to cut it. At 33 weeks, I was induced and had my son. He was a very tiny 4 lbs. but in this NICU, thats big! He just wasn’t what I expected. I didn’t expect to leave the hospital without my child… I didn’t know I’d be a NICU mom and wouldn’t have him home with me until 27 days later (which isn’t long considering some babies have been in there almost a year but every day away from your child feels like a month. Now that we’ve made it through and he is growing quickly at home with us, I look back and accept the fact that I was given this child for a reason. God knew what I needed and what I could handle. I do look at other girl’s pregnancy posts and I want so badly to say, “it’s okay, you don’t have to make this seem perfect.” I read girls posts bragging about how they carried their babies over.. “no preemies here.” *eye roll* I’ve had a perfectly healthy mommy to be compare her 39 week swelling and pain to my severe preeclampsia pain *another eye roll* I had a mommy to be complain to my face about her baby being a small ALMOST 7 lbs.. (That was too tiny to her family) *an even bigger eye roll * I don’t know if I’m the only one but sometimes I just want to blurt out my true feelings on that. I want to tell them that even if their body was incapable of carrying that baby to 40 weeks like mine was, that child isn’t any less perfect. If your child is tinier than the rest of your families, that doesn’t make it any less perfect. Also, can we stop bragging about perfect pregnancies!!! Can we stop saying perfect? When my body could no longer hold my little one, I took it hard. I was failing him as a mom already. I was supposed to help him grow a little more and I was letting him down.. I finally understand now though. I learned through this time, and after reading and hating these Facebook posts and comments, to stop holding myself to perfection and start holding myself to God’s grace. I was able to have a child, get him healthy and now am raising him to be an awesome person. No matter the problems, the obstacles, or how crazy your pregnancy gets, its all because of God’s grace. He gave you the child that is meant for you and that is what you always have to remember, even through the not so easy times.

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